Nursing Home

NURSING HOME; IS IT THE ONLY ONE BEST POLICY?

Have we ever thought that we are all growing older and older? Have been occurred in our dreams that all people in this world will definitely go to a phase where we will not be able to do anymore? Yeah, all of us will come into aged time. When we were there, a fear will come to us that our children do not want to care us anymore. That’s true.  A policy has been taken by some people in big cities, which is bringing their parents to nursing homes and leave them there. This is the reality of our people who're always upholding human values. This article is intended to bring a deep comprehending whether the act of bringing parents into a nursing home is the most humane and the wisest decision for them and also for the families who entrust them. This paper will discuss more on what and how exactly the nursing home is, and will be ended by a letter from a father for his child about what he really wants at the end of his life.

In Indonesian dictionary Nursing Home is a place for caring aged people. Some experts also state that nursing home is the gathering place of people - the elderly, either voluntarily or handed over by the family to care for his needs. This place is managed both by government and private parties.

Since it was firstly established, Nursing home was only intended for those who came from poor family who could not take care of their parents. But by the times, the need of nursing home is also increasing. The new lifestyle, bringing parents into nursing home when they are elderly has become a trend in our society. If we go there, we will not only see the poor one but also from wealthy ones which will undoubtedly make us wonder why they would leave their parents in nursing home.

One day, when I walked into a nursing home at Pare-Pare in South Sulawesi, I met a couple who visited that place too. I questioned them about their goals to get there. They replied that they intended to leave their parents there. At that time my curiosity came what reason it would be, why they wanted to leave their parents here. All of questions came to my mind. Finally, I decided to ask the manager about it. I finally came to the conclusion that there are three fundamental reasons why they brought their parents to a nursing home. The first is they work so they do not have time to take care them. The second is they did not have enough money to take care of their parents. The third is the parents can socialize with others in that place. Now, do you think that the decision, bringing our parents into a nursing home is a worthy, worthy, humane and civilized act? The answer to that question is of course very subjective. Here is the letter from a father's obstruction of his last wishes at the end of his life.

Dear Son,

The day that you see me old and I am already not, have patience and try to understand me. If I get dirty when eating, if I cannot dress, have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you. If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one times. Do not interrupt me. Listen to me. When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you got to sleep. When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me. Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in order that you wanted to bath. When you see my ignorance on new technologies, give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile because I taught you how to do so many things, to eat good, to dress well, to confront life. When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation, let me have the necessary time to remember, and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous, as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me. If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not. When my tired legs do not allow me walk, give me your hand, the same way I did when you gave your first steps. And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more that I want to die, do not get angry. Someday you will understand that my age is not lived but survived. Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you. You must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing me near you. You must be next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did it when you started living. Help me to walk, help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you. I love you son.

Your father

After reading the text above, I think that nursing home may be useful for us and our parents, but we cannot also deny that there are many things we have to consider before doing so. The above letter has given us a little description of the willingness of the parents in majority about their children at the end of their life.  What they want actually very simple. They just want to spend the rest of their lives by our side, seeing his sons and daughters lived in happiness, seeing their grandchildren grow up, until they breathed their last with a happy face. Now, it depends on you, I leave all decisions on you, whether bringing our parents to the orphanage was the right and humane thing or not? It depends on you.